The Not So Bitter End
by Lady Henrietta
Summary: Set after Endgame: Janeway comes to terms with what the admiral has told her and faces what the admiral could not. J/C


Disclaimer: All Star Trek stuff and Star Trek characters are the private property of Paramount studios.

The Not So Bitter End

The Admiral's plan had worked only marginally. Yes, the Borg network had been destroyed. Yes, they would most likely make it home sooner than in the Admiral's timeline, but the route they took did not lead to the Alpha Quadrant. Tom Paris had confirmed that they were still in the Delta Quadrant. Kathryn Janeway held her comforting cup of black coffee as she stared out of the window in the council room. When the door hissed, she knew who had followed her.

"Come in, Commander," she stated.

Chakotay replicated a cup of tea and joined her at the window. "I came to see how you were holding up."

"I'd say 'lousy' at the moment. Granted, we are farther along, but there are so many things to worry about. Admiral Janeway told me I would loose twenty-two more crewmen," Janeway relayed.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "So your future self violated the Temporal Prime Directive?"

Janeway took a swig of her coffee and nodded. "She also told me that Tuvok has a degenerating mental condition."

She still had not faced him. "And what did you think of the admiral?"

His question, though simple, narrowed on one of the points that bothered her. "I didn't like her. She was far too pragmatic, she was bitter, and she'd given up coffee."

"That's the part that really bothers you, isn't it?" he teased her with a grin.

She smiled back for a moment. "Actually it was how bitter she seemed. Do me a favor, if I ever get that bitter, just put me out an airlock so I don't drag anyone else down with me."

He laughed heartily, especially after she gave him the 'not funny' look. "Kathryn, the day I have to put you out an airlock is the day I'm next. Besides, because she told you what would happen, there is a strong chance that things will change."

Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes. "I suppose. We should have a meeting soon to reevaluate supplies, as well as the damage the Borg did."

As he rested a hand on her shoulder, her eyes snapped open. "I think, given the last couple of days, the captain could use some rest and time to herself first. We can take care of things tomorrow."

She gave him a small smile. "You might be right. Thank you," she told him before he left. Alone again, she turned back to the window. "Why Seven? How did I not see it? Of all people, I never expected it to be Seven," she murmured aloud.

At the end of her shift, Janeway entered her quarters. She stalked over to the replicator but stopped, leaning toward it and resting her hand on the black panel. She sighed, unable to decide what to eat. The situation and what the admiral had said kept echoing in her mind, making her restless. She began to pace in her living room.

Her mind did almost as much wondering as her feet. _When did this start? How could he take up with her? When did I start to care this much? Why did the admiral have to tell me this? I was better off naively thinking that he would still wait for me. Why do I always have to do everything alone? He only wanted to help, to show me that I wasn't alone, but I kept pushing him away. No wonder he went to her. I did this. It's my fault. That's what the admiral was so bitter about, missed opportunities_.

Janeway sank down into her couch and sighed heavily. "This is ridiculous. It's time I did what she couldn't do."

Standing, she took a quick look at herself in the mirror before dashing out of the door. She walked briskly down the hall and stopped in front of Chakotay's quarters. She waited to hear his voice after she rang the door chime. The doors opened with a swish and he stood, looking surprised to see her.

"Kathryn, come in," me told her, gesturing toward his couch. She passed through the entryway and the doors closed with a swoosh. "Is something wrong?"

She did not immediately look at him. Her eyes scanned the room first, confirming that they were alone. Then she fiddled with her Starfleet pin before facing him. "My older self made two mistakes. First, she didn't know how to handle a confrontation without destroying herself. Second, she didn't tell your other self the truth."

Chakotay turned his head and glanced at the clock on his counter. "Kathryn, I've got company in an hour. What's this all about?"

"Is it Seven?" she asked quietly.

She had caught him off guard. "I… How did you-"

"The admiral told me. How long have you been seeing her?" Janeway probed.

He stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. "This is a recent development."

She moved toward him, standing directly in front of him so that when he turned his head, he would have to face her. "Why?"

His hands on the table, he leaned forward. "She wanted to try dating. She actually seemed interested."

Standing almost close enough to bump into him, she sighed. "I naively thought you would wait for me. I've been foolish."

He stood to look her straight in the eyes. "You kept me at arms' length for years."

"That's what I meant when I said I'd been foolish," she repeated, almost shouting at him.

As he looked away, for a split second she remembered the Angry Warrior that he had mentioned long ago. "I… dammit Kathryn! Why are you here?"

"Because for once in my life I'm not letting parameters get in the way!" she retorted.

Stepping away from her, he began to pace the room, much as she had in her own quarters. "I want to believe you. Make me believe you."

She grabbed his arm to hold him still. "I _am_ interested, Chakotay," she told him calmly. "If there's one thing that recent experiences have taught me, it's that life is too short and too unpredictable to shut yourself off from everyone. I'm sorry I hurt you. You're my best friend."

He took a deep breath, covering the hand that held his sleeve with hers. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I deserved it," she told him with a wry grin. Then a look he had never seen before entered her eyes as she looked into his. "You don't need to answer me tonight. But I need you to know the truth. I could never have survived out here without you. I need you. And I need something more than friendship."

She did not give him a chance to speak. Instead she grabbed a handful of his shirt and kissed him, gently, as if trying to gage his reaction. She felt his arms wrap around her and to her astonishment, he drew her closer to him. As he responded, kissing her back, a passion she had little control over erupted. They kissed hungrily, hands moving over each other's backs. She found her back pressed up against a bulkhead as his lips trailed down her neck. A little moan escaped her throat and he kissed her deeply. They pressed their foreheads together, both needing to breathe. He opened his eyes to see hers and noticed tears threatening to fall.

"Oh Kathryn," he whispered.

"I thought you didn't care anymore," she told him.

He reached up and cupped her cheek with his right hand, brushing it with his thumb. "I never stopped caring. Seven was a distraction, from you. I called her here tonight because I was planning on breaking it off with her. I could never care for her the way I care for you and I wasn't going to lead her on anymore."

"I'm so sorry Chakotay, for everything. I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that there's no one else but you for me," she admitted.

He hugged her securely. "It's you I want to be with. It always has been."

They stayed in the embrace as she continued the discussion. "I thought that if I had a relationship with one of the crew, it would change my decision-making skills. The truth is that I've had a relationship with you from day one that has helped those skills."

"And now we'll try for a better one," he said, kissing her softly. Abruptly the door chime sounded.

"Seven?" she inquired.

Chakotay nodded as they separated. "Probably."

"I should go," she began.

He reached for her hand. "It'll look strange if you just walk out of here. Hide in the bathroom."

She eyed him incredulously and chuckled. "I suppose stranger things have happened. Yes sir," she teased, heading for the bathroom.

As expected, Chakotay found Seven of Nine standing outside his door. "Come in."

Seven complied, but did not immediately look up at him. "Commander, there are things we need to discuss."

He nodded. "I agree. That's why I've called you here. It's about our relationship. We-"

She cut him off. "Before you suggest furthering our relationship, I feel I must speak first. Commander, dating you has made me realize that there is someone else whom I would rather be spending time with. My time with you has been fulfilling, but my affections lie elsewhere."

Seven was expecting him to protest and looked at him oddly when he did not. Instead he smiled. "I was going to tell you the same thing."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Well then, if you will excuse me, there is someone else I must speak with."

"Seven," he stated as she stood and headed for the door, "mind if I ask who it is?"

A rare smile crept on her face. "He does not have a name yet, but I intend to find him one, a name that suits a doctor who sings opera."

She left and Janeway saw an amused smile on Chakotay's face. "How did it go? I could only hear parts."

"She dumped me. And you'll never guess for whom," he related.

"Harry?" Janeway asked as Chakotay took her hands in his and led her toward the couch.

He shook his head and replied with a grin, "The Doctor. 'All's well that ends well.'"

She chuckled softly. "'Alls well that ends well?' Sounds reminiscent of Shakespeare."

"Yes. Things will be a little different for the rest of our trip home," Chakotay mentioned.

Janeway leaned closer to him and paused, her lips inches away from his. "This time we're going home together."

Fin………


End file.
